I had a few ideas for what to review this week, and was all set to go with one title in particular from our good friends at Games2Win. But when I logged onto their website to get the screenshots for that game (which I’ll almost certainly review next week) I came across Spooky Love. It’s a Halloween game, and though we’re now a month gone from that holiday, I couldn’t help but notice the blank face of the main character on the title screen. It reminded me far too much of a certain series of vampire “romance” “novels” written by a Mormon woman with a deep understanding of male homosexuality. With the movie adaptation of New Moon released last week, and Twilight mania taking over the entire internet, I figure that this is the closest I’m going to get to a Twilight themed game. I give credit to the producers of the movies, because to my knowledge there aren’t any actual Twilight games, which would probably involve playing a shallow, selfish, spoilt little harpy who stares blandly into the face of a pale emoboy with the expression of someone who’s painfully constipated.

But I digress. Spooky Love is a kind of dress-up game, kind of date sim that has you spin a wheel at random to determine who your date for Halloween will be. And what do ya know, here’s Julian Fang, which might be the worst vampire name I’ve heard since Dr. Acula.

Once you’ve picked the boy of your dreams (or nightmares) you have to choose a costume that fits his – because, hey, who cares what your opinion is, right? All that matters is pleasing him, after all.

You know, I’m getting pretty peeved about how almost every form of media these days seems to be telling girls that the key to true love is to fall for an emotionally cold brute and descend into a co-dependent relationship built on physical and/or psychological abuse. If I wasn’t an asshole on the internet, I’d probably be really offended and do something about it!

I am gamer, hear me roar on Page 2.

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