Here we are, once again, in the Halloween season, and as has become custom I’ve caved and stuck to the general pattern that every other writer on the Internet has followed and tracked down a crappy Halloween-themed game to review. It seems to me that, more often than not, my Halloween pick has tended to have something to do with zombies. I’m not entirely sure why – perhaps it’s the popularity of zombie movies and my own fondness for the genre that makes me gravitate towards them so much. There’s also the fact that most zombie games tend to be violent shoot-’em-ups that allow the player to pile up huge numbers of bullet-riddled, undead corpses, which I for one can attest is quite cathartic after a long day.

Unfortunately, like so many zombie films, zombie games are an incredibly mixed bag. For every fun-filled romp like Zombie Hooker Nightmare, we get a dull and frustrating title like the subject of this week’s review, Death Penalty. Taking its cues from the superior Zombie Baseball, which had you decapitating ghouls by smacking them with baseballs, Death Penalty goes for an English variation. You take on the role of a soccer player who has arrived to find the opposing team have succumbed to the zombie plague. As your team mate throws you balls from the sideline you try to land a well-placed volley into the faces of the deranged cannibals. The game is nice enough to let you play in your favourite team’s colours, so I went with my childhood favourites Blackburn Rovers, figuring that if they got devoured no one would miss them.

The first level is a perfectly fine introduction to the finer points of play. Using the mouse you can move the player back and forth, and a click of the left mouse button will have him kick with all of his might. The trick is to time your kicks just right to get the maximum force behind the soccer ball, sending it across the pitch and into your undead opposition. And hey – while the game may have other faults, the controls work. Hitting the zombies won’t really be much of a problem, and you can get a second kick of the ball if it bounces back towards you, effectively doubling the damage. You also have the ability, once per level, to kick a zombie in the balls and put it down permanently. I’m pretty sure that’s a red card offence, but I guess the referee has more important things to worry about, like trying to find his missing liver.

That promising start doesn’t last long, however.

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