Posted by Sean C on Aug 5th, 2008
It’s been a few weeks since my last This Week in Stupid, so let’s catch up on some of the finest moments morons had to offer recently!
They say there’s no such thing as bad PR, but few have ever tried something as dumb as Florida businessman Mike Meehan. A passionate Republican, Meehan put up billboards discouraging voters from supporting Democrats featuring the Twin Towers on September 11th. The shocking images on the billboards not only serve as a new low in politics, but both parties are condemning Meehan – when somebody does something so crass and unbelievably stupid, even Democrats and Republicans can agree.
Stupid Level – 8.5 – A lack of taste and class is one thing, but it should just be common sense to, you know, not politicize 9/11. It didn’t work for Guiliani, and it ain’t gonna work for this twit.
This gas crunch has not only been a burden on many Americans, it’s also inspired them to new heights of stupidity. In this case, David Parton traded his son’s name for gas. He pledged to name his son after two local radio hosts in order to win a contest for a $100 gas card. You read that right – for only $100 dollars. That’s barely three fill-ups. Parton’s wife has left the responsibility of explaining to the boy, to be named Dixon Willoughby Parton, to the moron father. She better watch out – he might trade the kid if the radio station kicks in another fifty bucks.
Stupid Level – 9 – Dixon Willoughby’s gonna hate his daddy, not because he sold his name, but because he settled for so little. Now, if he got a bicycle to go along with it, maybe it wouldn’t be all bad for the poor kid.
911 is normally used for emergencies, but some idiots just don’t get it, and can’t quite understand what actually constitutes an emergency. We’ve got an idiot in Florida that calls 911 to complain that…wait for it…a slot machine stole his money. Now, unless Florida has some particularly flashy ATMs, I just don’t think he understood how a slot machine works – it’s supposed to get you to waste your money! Ah, well, they say that the lottery is a tax on the stupid, and Carlos Gutierrez certainly qualifies.
Stupid Level – 8 – It’s one thing to tie up the emergency response line, but it’s a pathetic, crying shame when you tie it up to complain that you gambled and lost. Oh, wait, no – the other guy in the article gets a 9 because he complained about Subway screwing up his order. That’s just sad.
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Devin de Gruyl
August 6, 2008 at 1:56 pm
I’m not even gonna comment on the first one, except to say that this clown deserves anything that happens to him for that stunt, and to once again bemoan how today’s political process always seems to come down to an us-vs-them mentality better reserved for sports rivalries than electing our next leaders.
(Also, sadly, I don’t think it’s even possible to depict 9/11 in a way that isn’t politicized on some level. It’s reached that point.)
As for the kid’s name being sold for gas money… strangely enough, I’ve heard of worse names given to kids these days. What about all those kids named “Espen” (or some variant) after their fathers’ favorite TV channel? In that light, even an unlikely name such as “Dixon Willoughby” doesn’t sound quite so bad. (Keep in mind: This comes from someone who’s an authority on unusual names… as you might be able to tell.) But yeah, $100 in gas for your son’s naming rights is definitely selling out cheap. Now, if it had been “free or discounted gas until the kid turns 18,” then it might be an offer worth considering.
The 911 call still doesn’t trump the story of the girl (in Canada, I believe) who sicced the cops on her parents for grounding her, or something equally ludicrous. On the positive side, at least this guy now knows the true purpose of a slot machine (not for nothing the “one-armed bandit” moniker) and will hopefully avoid the things in future. And with luck, he won’t be abusing 911 in the future either. …Methinks I hope for too much, but still one does have to have hope, right?
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Sean C
August 6, 2008 at 7:45 pm
Leno actually played real stupid 911 calls, and one came from a woman who locked herself INSIDE her car. Moron couldn’t figure out that lifting the lock UP would free her.
From a writer’s perspective, I’d love to see more stories like the girl from Quebec successfully suing her parents for grounding her, but the human being part of me wishes we would never produce such epic levels of stupidity again.
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