Despite the wailing of countless Transformers fanboys bemoaning the revised robotic designs and decrying Michael Bay as the film’s director, my recent experience with this movie turned out to be just what Ratchet ordered: the renewal and revitalization of a franchise that has lost its identity over the last decade.

For those of you familiar with Transformers, I don’t really need to get too far into the specifics of the film’s concept: it’s a boy-meets-girl-meets-giant-alien-robot-that-looks-like-a-car-and- then-things-explode story. The war between the Autobots and Decepticons has finally reached Earth, and humanity (as well as CG workstations) will never be the same again. Both factions are after an mysterious alien plot device known as the Allspark, which seems to have an uncanny knack for breathing life into inanimate mechanical objects (one can only wonder why they couldn’t have gotten Keanu Reeves close to this thing), and allegedly would be able to create an unstoppable army of cell phones, portable stereos, and Xboxes to do their bidding (as if the prices on these items aren’t scary enough as it is). While the evil Decepticons (Barricade, Brawl, Bonecrusher, Frenzy, Starscream, Blackout, Scorponok, and eventually Megatron) are out to find the Allspark with all intent of turning humanity into chunky salsa, the Autobots (Optimus Prime, Ratchet, Ironhide, Jazz, and Bumblebee) are more concerned with playing Allspark keep-away from their rivals, and to do this, they’ll need the help of Sam Witwicky (Shia Lebouf), whose great-grandfather some century earlier had discovered the alien contrivance and had left clues to its whereabouts.

Threadbare plot aside, this is the first Michael Bay film where his talent for excess is a perfect marriage to the subject matter. The Transformers are huge, imposing monstrosities that pretty much demolish anything they get within two meters of, and their cartoon-stereotypical personalities are just the right amount of earnest and campy, even when entire city blocks are exploding around them. Bay’s insistence on the combat sequences being fluid and martial-arts-inspired really pays off, as the robots transform to vehicles and back with a mercurial quality that adds an unexpected gracefulness to what could’ve been a fairly by-the-numbers shoot-em-up. Say what you might about Bay, but its hard to deny that he’s done a remarkable job making these giant mechanical beings believable. When Optimus Prime and Bonecrusher go tumbling over an LA stack, you can feel their mass demolishing the comparatively fragile overpasses. Cars fly, asphalt crumbles, things explode…it’s all gloriously cartoony and over-the-top, making it a perfect tribute to the cartoon that inspired it.

There’s much that could be said about the film’s flaws; it could use a bit more editing (another 20 minutes or so could’ve been chopped), much of the acting isn’t up to spec, and there’s a few logic holes that could stand to be plugged, but why dwell on what the film isn’t instead of lauding what it is? Not every film needs to be Shakespeare (especially not one based on a cartoon), and you don’t have to have some deep emotional awakening or have your entire life’s vision changed every time you walk into a theater. It’s far from perfect, but Transformers is entertaining despite its flaws; it’s certainly a better attempt at revitalizing the franchise than some of the recent, more disposable Transformers animated series have been. In ten years, people will still remember this movie, which is more than can be said for ultimately forgettable series such as Transformers: Cybertron, Energon, and Armada.

Don’t let the criticism dissuade you; movies are about escapism, and Transformers will indeed help you escape into a loud, flashy, gloriously overblown world where giant robots might be hiding in the Best Buy parking lot or gassing up at the Circle K…and you might find that your inner child will never look at your own car the same way ever again.

If you liked that, try...

1. AvP:R trailer at IGN
2. Things I Want: The Optimus Prime IPod Dock
3. The Great Star Trek Moviepalooza #3
4. Comic to Film Comparison: 300
5. The Great Star Trek Moviepalooza #2

2 Comments »

1. 
   Devin de Gruyl
   July 28, 2007 at 12:29 am

   I will say this: My “inner child” popped like a zit when Optimus busted out the “One shall stand, one shall fall” line (from the original 1986 movie) before the big throwdown with Megatron. It was like a resounding echo from 21 summers ago — spoken by the same voice actor yet.

   As an old-school TF fan from back in the day, I can honestly say that, while there were things in this movie that made me shake my head — Bumblebee’s “lubrication” of a Sector 7 goon being probably the most cringeworthy gag in the entire film — overall I completely enjoyed it as a “reboot” of the franchise. Certainly, as you said, it is more faithful to the original concept of the Transformers than a lot of the more recent fare has been; not since Beast Wars/Machines have I found a TF storyline that tried so hard to emulate what so many folks of my generation loved about the original series and toy line. It was a little bit different, sure, but it still rang true to the old storyline, and I totally appreciated that.

   (The only time I really felt Michael Bay was crapping on the collective memory of Transformers was that scene in the used car lot when Bumblebee tried to “persuade” Sam to buy him by beating the Valvoline out of the car parked next to him… which just so happened to be a “classic” yellow VW bug. It could have been any other junker, or even a Bug in “Cliffjumper” red… but no, it had to be the “new” Bumblebee trashing the “old.” That didn’t set well with me at first, but I soon got over it.)

   Evidently, they managed to sneak in some subtle references to The Other Franchise as well; close examination of the names of that Marine(?) group the film follows would reveal they have some interesting nicknames, such as “Stalker” and “Beach-Head”… Since Transformers and the ’80s version of G.I. Joe have always been joined at the hip by virtue of common ownership, it seems only fitting.

   Definitely worth getting the DVD when it comes out (and that way you can fast-forward past some of the film’s cheesier moments of attempted comedy, including what has to be the most forced attempt on record to work the TF tagline “More Than Meets the Eye” into dialogue).

   [Reply]
2. 
   CMorrison
   July 28, 2007 at 5:11 am

   That scene with the VW seems more an homage of what could’ve been than anything else; VW wouldn’t allow the filmmakers to use the bug as an Autobot, so they had to go with something else.

   [Reply]

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